January 19th, 2010 by Cy

Wow. Today I had a conversation with someone. It was in depth. Heartfelt. Potent. The conversation has left me… I am now questioning things. Massively. I am stunned. My words, my thoughts, my heart – it’s all torn.

It isn’t lack of understanding that has left me feeling this way. I understand. Clearly. The conversation made perfect, altruistic sense. It had viable merit. Stability in it’s lines of thought. Very, very potent.

I’ve been purposely away from online forms of communication. Blogs, Social Networks, Text messaging – all of these have been kept to a minimal by myself lately. I’ve been dealing with identity theft. I felt my silence was necessary as we dealt with the onslaught.

I looked forward to the conversation today. Although I never mind silence, or being “alone” for a time; I do enjoy sharing life with friends, loved ones.

I simply didn’t expect this conversation today and now I almost regret it occurred. It has left me on unstable ground. It has exposed things, or suggested things that I wasn’t expecting. At times it was cruel. Not purposely, but cruel nonetheless.

Now I sit dreading the witching hour. (Midnight). I sit, unsure, hurting, and I believe – potentially speechless. If I were silent or MIA before, I most certainly will be now, until I process today’s conversation, my views on it, and my path stemming from it.

I’m Torn.

silent, torn, Why Not - Right?