Why Not – Right? » Bonsai Gear Clock

Goodbye 2009 – Hello a Plan for Life

December 30th, 2009 by Cy

The Bonsai Gear Clock you see on the left is absolutely the very best image representative of my upcoming choices and new year plans. In fact it is so utterly perfect for how I view my life and the upcoming year, I’d almost buy it…. *sigh*

This clock sings to me, and frankly – as soon as I saw it, it gave me Hope for the next phase of my life.

That’s odd isn’t it?

Usually I am saying there is never enough time, and yet this very clock, bonsia in nature, gears whirling as time slips past – inspires me!

Lately I feel like I am standing at a precipice and about to tumble over. There are the issues of ”*I* should be doing this as it is expected, desired, wanted from me” versus “If I am ever going to live happily with my disease I must do that which takes care of me.” - Not an easy thing for me to choose, as I don’t want to upset folks, especially folks in Michigan.

Fortunately, my plans for the coming year are simplistic in nature and can be accomplished nearly anywhere. Hopefully folks back home will understand I am not running away, staying away, or leaving home so to speak. Right now I am taking it day by day – sometimes hour by hour. I still love, adore and miss my loved ones back in Michigan. But somehow I have to love myself more – or I am gonna die.

And the monotony of being sick, having bad days smattered with good moments; is getting to me. I must, if I wish to be healthy as possible; start my creative ebb and flow once more. And yet everytime I think of doing such, the onslaught of ‘not enough time’ hits me and leaves me just as weary as the Lupus.

And then I spied this Bonsai Gear Clock…… oh how it sings to my soul……

Yes, yes it sings to me. Instead of being indicative of time ticking past, the gears and tiny Bonsai like structure show me that with time, and work – all things can happen. One notch at a time, one second of work after another, and soon enough something of substance and form arises from that work. I love this little Bonsai Gear Clock.